SUPERMOM: Fact or Fiction?
Let’s be honest. As moms, we all have that mythical image of what a perfect mother
should be. For me, she is always patient, grounded and fun. She manages her
career, motherhood, marriage, friendships with ease and she looks good doing it.
She nursed her kids for at least one year and now feeds them on an organic, well-
balanced diet, which includes kale. She crafts and volunteers at school. By the way,
her house is also impeccably clean and beautiful all the time. Seriously, WHO AM I
KIDDING? Just reading this sounds impossibly ridiculous and exhausting. But sadly
that is what I, and most women I know, are trying to live up to and falling short of
Our culture and the media feed the image and wham! we are neck deep in our own
striving to live up to whatever impossible standard we make up in our heads. Can I
shout, “EXHAUSTING” again. No wonder none of us sleep and feel guilty all the time.
Comparing ourselves with other moms is part of the problem. We all see that mom
who looks amazing and appears to have it all together. The trouble is that by
comparing, we separate ourselves when we should be connecting. We overlook the
potentially tired look in her eyes and that behind the scenes she is sure to not have
it all together. None of us do.
In private confessions mothers tell me that they let their kids watch too much TV,
made mac-n- cheese for the 5 th night in a row. Worse, they yelled at their kids to,
“get the heck in the car”, or “go the bed”. These are the moments when we need to
let go of judgment and just say, “totally, me too”. It is this connection that heals us
and demystifies Supermom.
My advice to myself and other Supermom wannabes is to find forgiveness for our
perceived shortcomings. Be kind to ourselves when the house is a disaster, and we
just want to sit the kids in front of the TV and eat chocolate. While we can all strive
to be better mothers, friends, wives, we don’t have to whip ourselves into
submission. By making our hearts and minds a “zone of peace”, the rest naturally
follows. Find a balance that works for you, let expectations go and meet the needs of
the moment without guilt.
During naptime, I meditated and wrote this article instead of cleaning, signing up for
snack or showering (yuck!). The kitchen is a mess and the house will not be perfect
before my husband’s family arrives tonight. But you know what, I am happy and re-
energized. A place I’d much rather be than SUPERMOM.